How can I explain to my children that I'm a punk?

Jennifer is due to have twins in 3weeks and Marissa already had our baby boy Ricardo. I'm a punk because I'm thinking about leaving them and go to Purdue to better myself while Jennifer and Marissa get stuck with my responsibilities. I'm afraid of what they'll think of me though when they grow up, and if they'll see me as another deadbeat.. I don't want that to happen, because I know how it feels to not have a father be apart of your life fully, and it feels like HELL!